Types of humor and mental health: what’s your laugh style?

August 20, 2025 humorhealth

We all have a sense of humor — but not all senses of humor are created equal. Some people crack jokes to bring a group together. Others joke to soothe themselves, deflect pain, hide insecurity, or cut someone down. That’s not just a matter of personality — it’s a matter of mental health.

Psychologists have found that different humor styles are linked to well-being, resilience, anxiety, depression, and relationship satisfaction. The good news? Once you understand your own humor patterns, you can shift them to improve how you think, feel, and relate to others.

Let’s break down the four major types of humor and what they mean for your brain and your emotional health.

1. Affiliative Humor: The Social Connector

This is the most people-friendly form of humor. Affiliative humor is all about bringing people together, diffusing tension, and making others feel comfortable. Think of someone telling a goofy story at a party to make everyone feel at ease, or a workplace colleague cracking clean, lighthearted jokes that lift the mood.

Mental Health Benefits:
Affiliative humor is linked to:

Higher self-esteem
Lower anxiety and depression
Stronger social networks
Better romantic relationships

People who use affiliative humor tend to have strong emotional intelligence and are seen as more likable and trustworthy. It’s a psychological glue — and it pays dividends for your mood, your connections, and even your career.

Watch Out For: It can sometimes slip into people-pleasing if used to avoid conflict or mask genuine opinions.

2. Self-Enhancing Humor: Laughing at Life’s Curveballs

Self-enhancing humor is what you use inside your own mind to deal with life’s challenges. It’s the ability to laugh at your own misfortunes without being harsh or self-deprecating — to keep things in perspective, even when they go sideways. Imagine someone who spills coffee on themselves before a job interview and says, “Well, now I’m memorable!”

Mental Health Benefits:
Self-enhancing humor is strongly correlated with:

Psychological resilience
Lower levels of rumination
Greater life satisfaction
Reduced symptoms of depression and anxiety

This is the emotional jiu-jitsu of humor — turning stress into silliness without ignoring the problem. It doesn’t deny hardship, it just reframes it.

Watch Out For: Not much — this style is generally considered one of the most mentally healthy humor styles.

3. Aggressive Humor: Laughing at Someone Else’s Expense

This type of humor includes sarcasm, teasing, ridicule, or mockery. While it can be clever or popular in the short-term (think insult comics or roast battles), it can damage relationships and often masks deeper insecurities or anger. Think of someone who always has a biting remark ready, especially when they feel threatened.

Mental Health Impact:

Linked to higher levels of hostility and interpersonal conflict
Associated with narcissism and low empathy
Can predict relationship dissatisfaction and social rejection
May provide temporary ego boosts at the expense of others

Aggressive humor can create power dynamics that feel good for the joke-teller but alienate others — and over time, this damages both self-worth and social connection.

Watch Out For: If your humor often gets laughs but leaves people wincing or silent afterward, this might be your dominant style.

4. Self-Defeating Humor: The Hidden Red Flag

Self-defeating humor involves putting yourself down for laughs, hoping to gain approval or avoid conflict. Think of the person who constantly jokes about being dumb, unattractive, or unlovable — often before anyone else can say it first.

Mental Health Impact:

Associated with low self-esteem
Correlated with depression and social anxiety
Can reinforce negative self-talk and internalized shame
Often used as a coping mechanism for people who feel unworthy

This type of humor may be socially rewarded in the short-term (“Oh, you’re so funny!”), but over time, it can erode confidence and reinforce negative identity beliefs.

Watch Out For: Chronic use may be a sign that someone needs support. If you find yourself laughing at your own expense to fit in, it might be time to explore where that impulse comes from.

How to Shift Your Humor Style (Without Losing Your Personality)

You don’t have to overhaul your sense of humor to reap the benefits — just shift the balance. Think of it like tuning a guitar rather than replacing it. Here’s how:

Track your patterns: What kind of jokes do you tell most often — and why?
Add more affiliative humor: Practice humor that lifts others up without needing a punchline.
Develop self-enhancing habits: Keep a “Humor Log” of things that made you laugh even on bad days.
Reduce self-defeating jokes: Replace “I’m so stupid” with “That was a human moment.”
Pause before sarcasm: Ask yourself: is this funny for everyone, or just for me?

Over time, shifting your humor style can help retrain your self-talk, reshape your relationships, and bring more emotional ease into your daily life.

Sources & Suggested Reading

Martin, R. A., Puhlik-Doris, P., Larsen, G., Gray, J., & Weir, K. (2003). Individual differences in uses of humor and their relation to psychological well-being: Development of the Humor Styles Questionnaire. Journal of Research in Personality, 37(1), 48–75.
Kazarian, S. S., & Martin, R. A. (2004). Humor styles, personality, and well-being among Lebanese university students. European Journal of Personality, 18(3), 209–219.
Cann, A., Stilwell, K., & Taku, K. (2010). Humor styles, positive personality and health. Europe’s Journal of Psychology, 6(3), 213–235.
Saroglou, V., & Scariot, C. (2002). Humor styles and religious beliefs and practices: A study among Belgian students. Humor – International Journal of Humor Research, 15(1), 63–89.
Ruch, W., & Heintz, S. (2016). The virtue gap in humor: Exploring benevolent and corrective humor. Translational Issues in Psychological Science, 2(1), 35–45.

Humor Health Project